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There is a story that California family law attorneys tell — and have been telling for over two decades — that captures better than any statute the real cost of financial dishonesty in a divorce. We'll get to it. But first, the foundation. Don't be tempted to hide assets in CA divorce. The Disclosure Obligation Is Not Optional California is a community property state. That means assets and debts acquired during marriage generally belong equally to both spouses — and both spo

Please indulge me in this metaphor, as it is so on-point, that I had to share. There is an Eden Climber rose in my garden that has been, for most of its life, simply getting by. I planted it years ago in a spot that seemed reasonable at the time — partial shade, protected from the intensity of Southern California summers. It took root. It leafed out. Every year it put on green, and every year I walked past it and thought, that's doing fine . Except it wasn't blooming. For nea

During "California Mediation Week," Let's Look at What to Expect at Every Phase of the Mediation Process Mediators have their own styles, approaches, and personalities. Some are more directive. Some ask a lot of questions. Some favor joint sessions; others work with each spouse separately for much of the process. There is no single "right" way to mediate a divorce. But the bones of the process? Pretty consistent. If you're considering mediation — or you've already decided it

What Is Mediation in California Family Law — And Why Private Mediation Changes Everything This third week of March is California Mediation Week. If you're going through a divorce or separation in California, you've probably heard the word "mediation" a lot. Maybe your attorney mentioned it. Maybe you've seen it in court paperwork. Maybe a well-meaning friend told you it's "the easier way." But what actually is mediation in the family law context — and what's the difference b

Know when to start sleeping in separate rooms This one is uncomfortable to talk about. So, let's talk about it. When a marriage is ending but both parents are still living under the same roof, there is often one boundary that gets avoided longer than others — and it tends to get avoided precisely because it feels so final. So stark. So impossible to walk back once it's done. Sleeping in separate beds. I understand why couples resist it. It feels like a declaration. Like the m

A genuine apology may not save your marriage. But it just might save your family.   By the time most couples arrive at mediation, they've been through it — the arguments, the silence, the hurt that piles up over months or years of a marriage falling apart. They come in guarded. Sometimes angry. Often exhausted. And almost always carrying something they've never fully said, or heard. What surprises many of my clients is that one of the most powerful moments in a mediation sess

When people find out you're getting divorced, the advice starts coming fast. "Get a bulldog attorney." "Don't let them walk all over you." "Fight for everything." What most people don't tell you is that how you divorce matters just as much as what you end up with — especially when children are involved. California offers several different paths through divorce, and the one you choose will shape not just the legal outcome, but your co-parenting relationship, your finances,

What "Amicable Divorce" Actually Looks Like (And Why That's Okay) A client was recently telling me about on-going conflict with his spouse as they neared mediation and said with great disappointment, "I don't think this is going to be amicable." We need to examine what amicable really means in divorce, because I've learned that in divorce, most people define "amicable" in a way that sets them up for failure. They think amicable means: We never disagree We always feel good abo

How to Navigate February 14th During Separation and After Divorce Valentine's Day hits differently when you're going through a divorce. The commercials showing happy couples, the restaurant reservations you're not making, the cards in the store that mock your current reality—it all feels like salt in an open wound. And if you have kids who are excited about heart-shaped cookies and Valentine's exchanges at school, you're managing your own grief while trying to protect their j

Why Divorce Feels Like an Existential Crisis: A Neuroscience Perspective If you've been blindsided by your spouse's sudden departure after years—or decades—of marriage, you know the feeling: it's not just sadness or disappointment. It feels like your entire world has collapsed. Like you can't trust your own judgment. Like nothing makes sense anymore. That's not dramatic thinking. That's neuroscience. Strangers by Belle Burden The SCARF Model and Divorce Neuroscientist David R

Pham v. Superior Court of Orange County , No. G065471 (California Court of Appeal, Fourth District, Division 3, December 16, 2025), In a case of first impression in California, the appellate court addressed the issue of disposition of IVF embryos upon divorce, upholding the trial court’s ruling enforcing an IVF agreement and awarding the frozen embryos to the wife. FACTS During the marriage, a couple pursued IVF and signed an agreement with the IVF provider including a sectio

Monday, January 5 th , is what we in the family law world quietly call “divorce day.” On the first Monday back in the office of a new year, divorce inquiries skyrocket by more than 25%. Researchers at the University of Washington studied this divorce seasonality and called it the Broken Promise theory. In short, a dissatisfied spouse thinks in October or November that if they can just get through the holidays and rediscover that spark with his/her spouse, then they can make t

Starting January 1, 2026, California will offer a new option for couples who want to end their marriage cooperatively rather than combatively—the Joint Petition for Dissolution. This isn't just another piece of legal paperwork. It's recognition of and action on a mindset shift in divorce – a mindset shift from an adversarial process to a cooperative process. California joins Nevada and Illinois in embracing a joint petition. What Makes This Different? Think of the Joint Petit

Co-parenting through the holidays can be stressful, and no one wants that stress to ruin the magic of the holidays for children. So, how can families create special, happy new memories for their children after separation or divorce? Put the Children First - Prioritize your children's needs over your own. One of the most difficult issues children of divorce face during the holidays is feeling torn between two parents, two homes and extended families. Ideally, co-parents are ab

I never expected to write a divorce coaching blog post that referenced Dancing With The Stars. But, on October 14th, during dedication week, two of the dancers dedicated their dances to half-siblings from a parent's remarriage. Dylan Efron dedicated his dance to his five-year-old sister, Olivia, who was born in 2019 to Efron's father and stepmother. TikToker Alix Earle similarly dedicated her dance to her 12-year-old sister, Izabel, who was born to Alix's father and stepmothe