Successfully Co-Parenting Through the Holidays

Co-parenting through the holidays can be stressful, and no one wants that stress to ruin the magic of the holidays for children. So, how can families create special, happy new memories for their children after separation or divorce?

1. Put the Children First - Prioritize your children's needs over your own. One of the most difficult issues children of divorce face during the holidays is feeling torn between two parents, two homes and extended families. Ideally, co-parents are able to agree in advance to collaborate on everything from time management (so the kids have holiday time with each parent), gift-giving (to avoid competition between parents) and consistent rules and expectations in each household.

2. Don't Make the Children Choose Between Parents - Do not argue in front of your children and do not criticize your co-parent in front of the children. Express excitement for your children to spend time with your co-parent, rather than expressing sadness about the children not being with you.

3. Encourage Open Communication - Encourage your kids to talk about their emotions. They may be concerned about missing their other parent, or that they won't be waking up Christmas morning in the house they've grown up in. Be sure to talk with your children about how things are going to be different, so they know what to expect.

4. Be Flexible - Sometimes plans change, especially around the busy holidays. A little flexibility can go a long way in reducing stress and showing your children that their happiness comes first. If your co-parent has a special opportunity with extended family, consider trading times - your kindness won't go unnoticed by your child, and your flexibility makes it more likely your co-parent will be flexible with you.

5. Maintain Treasured Holiday Traditions - Whether it's Elf on the Shelf, the Advent Calendar, cookie decorating, and/or family pajamas, it's important to keep established traditions alive - this is especially important for young children.

6. Create New Traditions - Take this opportunity to make new traditions with your children in your new household. Get your children's input on what new traditions would be fun and meaningful for them.

7. Take Care of Yourself - The holidays can be emotionally draining for parents going through divorce. Take time for your own mental and emotional health and get the support you need from family, friends and professionals.